7 Tips to Maintain Class and Control Through Any Life Challenge

By Sherrie Campbell, PhD

We all have moments when we don’t love how we responded to a situation or how we acted. When you are grounded in who you are, you have a certain essence where people can feel that not much can shake you. To be elegant essentially means that you know who you are and are grounded and comfortable in that person. Many of us are emotionally out of control, lacking presence of mind, allowing life to take us on an emotional roller coaster where we feel crazy and at the mercy of our life situations, people, and emotions.

Here are 7 steps to develop your inner elegance:

1. Mindfulness: In order to find and express your inner elegance, you first have to envision yourself as an elegant person. To start this change, you have to begin thinking of yourself in the way in which you wish to be perceived. Once you start this thought process, everything else will fall into place.

2. Grace: When you think about displaying an inner elegance, gracefulness is one of qualities to express this. When you are graceful you move slowly, have a positive but quiet confidence about your aura and you think and speak with poise, charm, dignity, and beauty. You are deliberate in who you are without being pushy.

3. Self Control: Do not have tantrums or play emotional games. You do not need to manipulate to get what you want. Being in control and owning who you are is what draws love and opportunities to you. When you show you have self control and are emotionally intelligent, you are viewed as smart, and smart is sexy.

4. Classy-Sexy Style: An elegant woman does not show all her assets. Dress in a way that provides some sex appeal by provoking curiosity and professionalism. Your style should exude sophistication. Do not overtly use your appearance to be noticed. Become more by being less. Elegance is not conservative. It is refined, sexy and tasteful.

5. Inventive: Use your intelligence and be dynamic in your speech, neatness, and in your complicated simplicity. As a woman, use all the intricacies of your personality. You are clever, which brings out your charm, intelligence, innocence and cuteness.

6. Be Clear: Do be not afraid to be yourself. Give little thought to what others think of you. A big ego is not part of your plan and nor do you need to court attention and this is exactly why you will get it. When you are clear about who you are, your inner elegance shines through. Demonstrate you have high standards and will not accept less than the treatment you deserve.

7. Self-Sufficient: Do not expect anyone to take care of you emotionally, physically, or financially. You must have the confidence, courage, and motivation to be self-sufficient. To truly possess this quality and not have it be an act, you have to walk your talk. You have to be passionate about your life, your independence, and also your ability to love. When you embody this you can give yourself to relationships without losing your own ground, your passion for your life, and the achievement of your dreams. You come first and everyone else comes second. You know that if you love yourself, you can love others better.

As you focus on yourself, you learn to love yourself. When you love yourself you become that elegant, confident, graceful, desirable woman who commands the right kind of attention and praise. Why? Because people can feel you have it together inside and out. Handle your emotions like a business, rather than like a little girl who needs nurturing and reassurance.

Sherrie Campbell, PhD is a veteran, licensed Psychologist with two decades of clinical training and experience providing counseling and psychotherapy services to residents of Yorba Linda, Irvine, Anaheim, Fullerton and Brea, California. In her private practice, she currently specializes in psychotherapy with adults and teenagers, including marriage and family therapy, grief counseling, childhood trauma, sexual issues, personality disorders, illness and more. She has helped individuals manage their highest high and survive their lowest low—from winning the lottery to the death of a child. Her interactive sessions are as unique and impactful as her new book, Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person.
She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 2003 and has regularly contributes to numerous publications, including Intent.com, Beliefnet.com, DrLaura.com and Hitched.com. She is also an inspirational speaker, avid writer and proud mother. She can be reached at SherrieCampbellPhd.com.>