Watch Out for These Destructive Types

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Like so many Americans, we changed health care plans this past month. Mike and I shared a terrible experience this week when we went to meet a new doctor  It was truly the worst behavior I have ever witnessed from a trained professional.

The doctor first talked down to us and treated us like criminals instead of customers. He attacked us verbally, shamed Mike for even thinking he had chronic fatigue (CFS) and then said he didn’t think he could work with us. Apparently he thought my husband, a disabled Vietnam vet, was either a drug addict, someone trying to defraud the system, or both.

Mike has witnessed this sort of shameful behavior from the medical establishment many times before. Starting around 1990, when he first contracted CFS, doctors have regularly challenged and shamed him by saying his problems are “all in his head,” or he’s “just depressed.”

But for me this was a unique experience. I have never been accused of faking an illness, so I was stunned and speechless for hours afterward. Where is the compassion and understanding we expect from our health care provider? I cried and yelled at this doctor to no avail.

Later I thought to myself that if my husband has been faking his illness for the past nine years that I’ve known him, missing work and losing jobs because of his inability to return to work, he most certainly deserves an Academy Award! Who suffers this much life stress, embarrassment and inability to function when they could just skip it?

DESTRUCTIVE HUMAN BEINGS:

This whole experience got me thinking about all of the purely destructive human beings who have impacted my life. For their own reasons, I have experienced a number of people who have simply decided, consciously or unconsciously, to make my life miserable.

Unfortunately it has taken me far too long to realize that their behavior had nothing to do with me. It’s not personal this time. These people destroy others, whoever comes in contact with them.

I could not sleep last night thinking about that destructive doctor, and then I began thinking about the many others who have made it their personal mission to ruin my life.

First I remembered my last (and final!) boss, my ex (better known as my was-band), and numerous previous “boyfriends” who have shamed and abused me. It seems it is only when we find enough self-respect to cast these types out of our life, that we realize their previous power over us.

My conclusion: Being them is its own punishment!

So if you should experience this type of behavior from anyone, family,  supposed friends, or professionals, do not take their criticism to heart. Simply refuse to take their abuse, and get out while you can!

Laura Lee Carter, MA Counseling Psychology, the writer behind the popular online magazine Midlife Crisis Queen,has been helping others turn midlife difficulties into opportunities for personal change since 2007. Besides working as a psychotherapist, Laura Lee has authored a number of books and e-books on midlife transformation.  Don’t miss her new book: Find Your Reason to Be Here: The Search for Meaning in Midlife.Follow her on Twitter: @midlifequeen