The "A-to-F" Guide To Self-Acceptance

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Aging gracefully is difficult when it comes to our changing bodies. It is almost like some alien force takes over and brings with it extra weight, a slower metabolism and “curves” where they never existed before. Here‘s my “A-to-F” guide to accepting your body, and your value, in life after 50.

Accept that your body will change as you grow older, just like everyone else’s does. What once was firm will sag, your face will have fuzz and wrinkles, and your weight will shift. As much as you want to fight it, these things are inevitable, so trade your tears for laughter and lighten up!  We are right here with you! So many find freedom in saying “I really don’t care what anyone else thinks now!” Be PRO-aging, not anti-aging, and relax, knowing that you have earned the privilege of being who you are, not what the media says you should be. Sure, you can make a few changes in your wardrobe and makeup to brighten up your look, but look at aging with a sense of fearlessness, not dread.

Be healthy. It is so important to adopt a healthy lifestyle just to be healthy, not solely to lose weight. Adopt a heart-healthy diet (which has multiple benefits), exercise your body and your brain regularly, and get plenty of sleep. If you have trouble getting motivated, ask a friend to be your accountability partner! It is never too late to change lifelong habits that are harmful, such as smoking, excessive alcohol consumption or spending your days in sedentary activities. You have many years ahead, so begin practicing better self-care today!

Create your own style. In life after 50, it is harder to find a decent pair of jeans that fit, we prefer house shoes to high heels, and clothing seems to be designed for either our mothers or our daughters. Sometimes it seems hopeless, but there’s a whole new you that can be uncovered with just a few changes in your makeup and wardrobe. Not the changes you get from a plastic surgeon–we’ve all seen women who looked much better before they had “just a little work done,” but minor tweaks that we can make in things like hair, lipstick, skirt length and even nail polish to make us feel better about ourselves.

Don’t compare yourself to others. As Mark Twain said, “Comparison is the death of joy.”  No two people are alike, and our bodies will age differently. Genetics, hormones, and lifelong habits will help determine your after-50 body, so quit comparing yours with women who are thinner, who have smaller hips and flatter stomachs, or who have fewer wrinkles. You never know what “extra help” they have had! Comparison only leads to envy, low self-esteem and depression. Besides, the person you aspire to look like may seem on the outside to have a perfect life, but behind the scenes she may be crumbling. What you are seeing in others is often the “Christmas card version” of their life as you compare your epic novel to their highlights.

Embrace your immense worth. Acknowledge that the wisdom and experience you have gained over the years are priceless, so much more valuable than your outer appearance or material possessions. You have used your gifts well as you lived with courage, purpose, and passions, putting others first more often than taking care of yourself. Now, you know that true beauty radiates from the inside out. Everything you have done in life has brought you to this day, and it is up to you to make the most out of the next chapter of your life. If you are stuck in a rut, unsure of where to go next, let’s talk! My gift is helping women like you find clarity, purpose and freedom to live authentically in midlife and beyond. Click here for more information.

Fill your life with gratitude! As old-fashioned as it seems, living with an “attitude of gratitude” is vital to having a healthy outlook on life. You have so much to be thankful for! Just think of all the things you take for granted every day–walking, breathing, sunshine, rain, the list goes on and on. Then there are the blessings of family and friends, your career, your favorite charities and the little “bright spots” in every day. Don’t wait until they are gone to appreciate them!

Susan Tolles is the founder of flourishover50.com. Click here to read more about her work.