Love and Words

By

I recently read a magazine article written by a woman who was reminiscing about a camping trip she went on during her senior year of high school. She thought of herself as plain, gangly, insecure girl with frizzy hair, so she was shocked one evening on that trip when a handsome boy stopped to chat.

She was sure he was trying to get to know her “better-looking” friend through her. Of course, she thought, no one that good-looking would ever notice her. But when the evening ended and the campfire finally went out, he asked for her address so he could keep in touch with her across the many miles that separated them.

Still, she was doubtful. She never thought she would hear from him but was shocked a week later when he asked for a photograph. And he wrote again, saying that she was even prettier than he remembered.

That was a life-changing moment for her. After reading the letter a number of times, she wrote in the article, she finally saw herself the way he did. She no longer felt like the ugly girl with the pretty friend. Instead, she was the pretty one. Thanks to him, she completely changed her perception of herself.

“That summer, for the first time in my life, a handsome boy chose me. He thought I was beautiful and I am!” Those were the closing lines of the article, and they made me cry.

I saw so much of myself in that teenager. I was the shy, skinny girl with anxiety and glasses. The boys, I now say jokingly, weren’t knocking down the door to date me. When a friend showed me a picture of a handsome boy and said she wanted to introduce us, I told her she was absolutely NUTS. He would never want to date me.

I nervously agreed to meet, but I was convinced he was going to go right past me and choose one of my exciting friends as a date. I was wrong. Two days later, we went on our first date.

He is still in my life, 36 years later.

It took a while for me to believe him and his loving words. I had low self-esteem and a bad self-image. Other people may not believe in themselves for different reasons: they think they are not smart enough, or don’t have enough money, or should have a better job.

Chances are you talk with people like this every day. Your words can make the difference. You can affect someone’s life by saying something positive, loving and encouraging.

All it takes is a few words.

Read more of Donna Ryan’s work on her blog, 50plusstickingtogether.com.