Become Your Own Best Friend

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We spend our whole life in our own head thinking about “How am I doing?” “How can I get some of that?” “If only this!” “If only that!” “I wish I could get her job!”

We spend almost 100% of our waking hours of assessing, comparing, planning, rehashing the past or “awful- izing” our future. I suggest that we get some control over our minds and use our thoughts to set our actions and attitudes on the path to happiness, love, passion and spiritual enlightenment.

Experience has shown me that it is never too soon or too late to start training the mind. I am here to have my mind serve me, not for me to serve my mind and all its crazy whims. I believe that it is indeed a long journey to first truly know myself and then, as a byproduct, know a Divine Force of my very own choosing. I prefer to look at this personal quest as my chosen assignment rather than as a victim reacting to the harm inflicted by others.

Rather, we can develop a new set of life skills that will take us where we want to go. We can begin by developing some self- approval ideas to practice on a daily basis and then expand from there.

When I work with individuals and groups, I like to pose questions that will stimulate their very own way to rewire their negative thought patterns. Below are a few questions that you can start with. Of course, if any of these questions, don’t work for you, skip them.

What are five things you can do daily to love and approve of yourself?

What is your Ego? What is your Ego’s agenda?

What is your Higher Power/Divine Force/Divine Love/Highest Self/ True Self/GOD?

Do you stay fully present during the day? Do your thoughts wander or stay focused?

What are some ways to break out of the trance you slip into when you want to satisfy your ego instead of your Higher Power?

What are actions you can take when you spend too much time thinking about yourself and then feel self-doubt, or the desire to control others or blame someone else for your perceived problems?

Do you have a spiritual connection?

On a scale from one to ten…give me a number that accurately depicts your willingness to serve God.

Could you do better? Do you feel you would benefit spiritually if you did more?

How can we become spiritually fit?

What do you consider spiritual success to look and feel like?

What do you think each day of your life would look like if you were no longer enslaved by your defects of character and truly living free of your ego?

Deborah Downey’s experience spans 25 years of recovery in various 12-step programs around the country. Holding certifications as a professional life coach and as a chemical dependency counselor, Downey has dealt with addiction in its various forms, both as the child of alcoholic parents and as a confidant for others. In her self-help book, “What Are You Worried About!” (http://www.coachdeborahdowney.com/), Downey, who has multiple sclerosis, details a proactive approach to training one’s mind to think positive.