Words or Actions?

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“We have too many high sounding words and too few actions to correspond with them."– Abigail Adams

Abigail Adams is correct.  There are too many words and not enough actions. We talk too much and don’t do enough – especially, I think, when it comes to understanding others.     

Human nature forces us to believe our opinion or point of view is the correct one. But others think the same about their views, so there will always be differences of opinion.  Life would be boring if everyone thought the same.

But we don’t have to hurt each other because of our differences.  I think we can all agree that no matter what we disagree about, everyone wants their feelings validated and understood. If I offend anyone with words, it’s irrelevant if that wasn’t my intention. Feelings are true, and if a person thinks a certain way – i.e. that I have offended them – they are entitled to think that. I do not have to agree with how the person feels or what that person thinks, but I am responsible for acknowledging their feelings.

That takes work, but it is possible to agree to disagree and reach a common ground.  We need to simply listen and respect opinions.

So many arguments could be avoided if we stopped and looked at things from all sides. There would be less conflict, and more understanding, if we worked at changing how we view others’ opinions and avoided magnifying differences.

 A touch, hug, smile, and a kiss are things we all can understand.  I hope one day we can stop giving others a piece of our minds but instead live in peace.

I pray protesting, fighting and wars stop. 

I need to remind myself how fragile our days are and take the advice of Abigail Adams and use more loving actions versus complicated words.  We can all accomplish this if we are willing to stop speaking and instead listen, smile, hug – and show up with the intention to understand.

Donna Ryan, a frequent contributor to ThirdAge, is the editor and founder of the blog www.50plusstickingtogether.com.