Good Job

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No matter how good a job we do in work, life or love, I wonder why the negative outweighs the positive. I’m doing my best not to revisit painful times – that serves no point. But I suppose that because my husband and I are weeks away from our 35th wedding anniversary, we think of the good times in the past – and the bad. We try not to dwell on the bad times, but sadly, they exist.

Kevin and I had a responsibility as parents. I think of it as the best job of our lives. Over the years, we got a lot of compliments from family and friends about the good job we were doing. My general response was, “Time will tell how good a job we are actually doing.”  Thinking back, maybe I should have agreed with them instead of worrying. Many books say that what we think is what we get. I hate to think that theory is correct, but it’s got me living more positively now.

We got fired from the job we loved before it was time to leave. I cry, remembering those first months after we got the word we were parting ways. I wanted to die.  I recall days lying on a floor wondering how I could ever think about living happily again. So much for the good job!

We think of the picture-perfect life we thought we were living, and we’re a bit wiser now. We took so much for granted. Other parents seemed to struggle, but we felt we had dodged all the bullets. Now, we tell each other, we wish we could have had more bumps in the road and maybe known more so that getting fired would not have been such a shock.

In our hearts, though, we realize that what we define as the worst pain really is not as bad as what others are going through.

I reminded my husband of the story last month of a dear social media friend I have been in contact with for years. Her husband felt ill one night; he was rushed to the hospital and died days later. This sweet woman who comforted me on the days I was rolled up in a ball now figures out her life without him.  My heart breaks for her every day.

I bumped into a neighbor a few weeks back while walking the dog. She told me she had terminal cancer and would have to undergo chemotherapy. I haven’t seen her since. I pass her door and pray she is healing.

These are only two examples of the many people who wake up struggling every day and need to be reminded they are doing a good job. Kevin and I agreed that if we could throw all of our troubles into a bucket with the hopes of switching them for a different set, we’d be grabbing ours back for sure.

There are many definitions of being let go that can make us feel devastated. Whether it be discord with family members, loss of a job, a bad health report, a divorce or the sudden death of a loved one. Please know when you open your eyes in the morning you are doing a good job. Our good job days are when we are tested – and you will pass.

For some reason I have been given the gift of laughter.  I do not like sadness and avoid it every chance I can get. I agree with a quote I read from Red Skelton this morning: “Have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness.”

For now, a door has been temporarily shut, and we dream that someday it will reopen. We pray every day for it.

 Emotions need to be recognized and dealt with, but life is meant to continue.  Constantly ripping off the bandage to expose wounds only keep them from healing. Live your life.

We will soon start our 36th year of wonderful memories and as we embark on this part of our journey we send hugs, good wishes and much love to those who will always matter in our hearts and who do a good job every single day of their lives. 

Donna Vesel Ryan, a frequent blogger for ThirdAge, is the founder and editor of the blogwww.50plusstickingtogether.com.