The Leap of Faith Needed for Pure Love

By Laura Lee Carter

“Love is plunging into darkness toward a place that may exist.”  — Marge Piercy

Out of the blue it struck me the other day, exactly how rare it is to feel loved by what I would call a qualified lover.

How often have you felt a lack of judgment, just total acceptance and compassion from another human being, with no expectations of anything in return? How many people have never had this experience, ever?

If you have ever experienced this, were you able to accept such pure love in the moment? Were you able to look past all of your faults and feelings of unworthiness and acknowledge,

“I am now loved.”

The joy I feel when I slow down enough to fully feel all of the love in my life is breathtaking. And I know for certain that there was no room for this love before I hit bottom in 2004.

What changed?   Me.

I stopped denying how much I wanted to feel pure love. I took a gigantic leap of faith and admitted honestly to myself that my only real priority at age 49, was to feel pure love once in this lifetime.

I finally went all in, and said to myself I would not accept anything less, realizing that would require me to offer my best in return.

I was ready to grow up and take full responsibility for my own needs, and by doing so I felt certain that I would know when I met a qualified lover for myself.

And I did. The first man I met after all of this soul surgery came calling, and we both knew quite quickly that we had met our match. Trust was the name of the game back then, so we built it slowly and carefully.

We both equally valued the amazing match we had made. We knew from 50 years of experience what we had was rare and so beautiful. We spoke often and honestly, expressed our many insecurities, and built respect and trust constantly.

And now, eleven years later, I can only say to you, “Go for it!”

Laura Lee Carter, MA Counseling Psychology, the writer behind the popular online blog How to Believe in Love Again, has been helping others turn midlife difficulties into opportunities for personal change since 2007. Besides working as a psychotherapist, Laura Lee has authored a number of books and e-books on midlife transformation.  Don’t miss her new book: Find Your Reason to Be Here: The Search for Meaning in Midlife. Follow her on Twitter: @midlifequeen.