How to Take the High Road

By Susan “Honey” Good

Do you know how to take the high road? When we are falsely accused, professionally or personally, we are faced with three difficult choices. We can let it go and allow the problem to continue. Or, we can let it go because it feels right. Lastly, we can fight to clear our name! In all cases, I believe we are best served when we choose to take the high road.

I typically take the high road because I feel it serves me best. I am now of the opinion, from personal experience, that there are times to roar back to protect one’s reputation, legacy and daily happiness. This takes great thought and depends on the situation.

Of course, I struggle and weigh my options and take the high road even when springing into action. I see the glass half full and choose to make sweet lemonade out of lemons. I’m glad I forgive because I don’t like to carry negative baggage.

I HAVE NO PROBLEM FORGIVING. I DON’T CARRY GRUDGES

And yet, I must admit I have a problem holding people accountable who I know have wronged and hurt me, and I struggle with the ‘good person syndrome.’ I still feel taking the high road better serves me. But to my joy, I began making headway in another manner that still serves me well: I slowly disengage myself from the relationship. I move on and hit ‘delete.’ You all know my word, delete, darlings!

I experienced one major situation in which I allowed my reputation and my legacy to be tampered with… and actually tarnished. This is because, I thought that coming from love would end the problem because I believe in the ‘good person syndrome,’ to keep the peace. Darlings, I learned this is not always the case. To sit idly by hoping a severe situation will pass only allows your perpetrator to ignite his or her blaze. But never-the-less, at this juncture, I have still decided to take the high road and be silent.

The first question we should ask ourselves is ‘why is this happening?’ It usually happens by surprise when someone takes an intentional, damaging and hurtful shot at you.

HOW TO TAKE THE HIGH ROAD: FIND YOUR SALVATION IN “THE LESSON”

The lesson: character assassination has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with the other person. That is why I take the high road, darlings.

The salvation: never lower yourself. Maintain your integrity.

Every person — family, friend or business acquaintance — who maligns another person’s reputation and legacy, i.e. character assassination, unfairly, will eventually be held accountable by observers.

Every person who tries to ruin your reputation or legacy will hopefully learn there are consequences for their poor behavior.

How do you stop the person?

1. Learn how to take the high road
   2. Learn to identify a toxic person and stay away.
   3. Examine your role that created their behavior. Did you do something?
   4. Stand up for yourself by honoring the you in you.

THE WARNING SIGNS OF A TOXIC PERSON . . .

1. They create drama by making small problems into large problems.
   2. They refuse to take responsibility.
   3. They are cunning and devious.
   4. They have up and down behavior patterns.
   5. They are jealous and angry.
   6. They are envious.

I have gotten angry with myself for taking the high road. I want to lash out and defend myself. I don’t. Instead, after I have calmed down, I realize the person who is on the attack is not admired by those in his or her circle.

They know the truth. They know who I am and how I conduct myself. So…why would I stoop to the angry person’s level? I won’t because I know who I am. Instead, I will continue to take the high road. I am smiling.

You know who you are. If you are wrong, take the high road and apologize. If you are wronged, still take the high road. Remember, this is not about you…it is about him or her.

Susan “Honey” Good is the founder of HoneyGood.com where this blog originally appeared. The site is a collection of lessons learned, life advice and insights from not only her, but from a fantastic group of contributing writers, each adding their own spice to the recipe. Honey Good.com representing “a family tree of women” — wives, mothers, daughters, granddaughters, mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law, sisters, aunts, cousins and girlfriends — coming together to talk about what makes them tick as well as what they have in common. Honey Good discusses life experiences with wisdom, humor and intellect, enabling all to attain a “Honey Good Style of Life.”