Four Ways to Diversify Your Emotional and Psychological Portfolio for A Successful Retirement

By Kate Schroeder, M.ED., LPC, NCC

The lifecycle of professionals includes copious amounts of time working hard, saving money, planning for retirement, checking investments, and eventually – once amassing enough money – riding off into the sunset with the guarantee of a successful retirement transition. Sadly, this is often not the case.

Society tells us that a fulfilling retirement is hinged upon simply having enough money to live comfortably, all while somehow ignoring one major contributing factor for a truly successful retirement: your emotional and psychological well-being. The reality is that few people fully consider the psychological adjustments that will accompany this life stage, which often includes challenges like coping with the loss of one’s career identity and social support network, no longer being able to achieve recognition through work accomplishments, spending more time with their spouse and themselves, as well as finding new and meaningful ways to stay active.While some easily transition ease into this post-career retirement lifestyle, research finds that many others experience anxiety, depression, loneliness, and even profound feelings of grief and loss. Sometimes, a listlessness or feeling of aimlessness occurs when there is no longer a place to be and something to do every day. A 2012 study from the Journal of Happiness Studies by Elizabeth Mokyr Horner found that right after retirement, there is usually a “sugar rush” of happiness, well-being, and life satisfaction that retirees experience, which sharply declines a few years later.In Dr. Horner’s analysis of cross-sectional data from the United States and 16 countries in Western Europe, this “rush-crash” pattern happened regardless of a new retiree’s age. People “crash” in retirement not because they run out of money, but because the psychological transition throws them into significant emotional distress that they are either not prepared for or do not have the internal assets to overcome. While there’s no way to fully prepare for all the challenges retirement may bring, beginning to tackle them before retirement is essential for increasing life satisfaction.

Tip #1: Begin dealing with unresolved emotional issues. 

The years leading up to retirement are pivotal for increasing self-awareness – it is essential to begin asking yourself what you want out of this life transition. It is also necessary to explore what is keeping you from addressing difficult feelings related to your retirement and learn how to deal with those feelings, even if they make you uncomfortable. Only then can you begin to fully understand your true desires.Feelings are energy, not cognitive thoughts. To get to the heart of what is buried deep inside of you – why it’s so difficult to adjust to retirement – you must get to the depths of your unconsciousness so that you can untangle this psychological knot once and for all.Retirement is the perfect time to become the person you want to be and enjoy the things you’ve always wanted to do. However, you must want to find out who you truly are meant to be and be willing to take some emotional risks. This level of deep exploration requires a high degree of commitment where your “emotional risk tolerance” starts to reveal itself. This is true even when you have plenty of money and are in incredible health.

Tip #2: Start learning early about your emotional self. 

Research shows that adjusting to retirement is difficult for many people, especially those who gleaned much of their identity from their work. These people often report more boredom, anxiety, restlessness, and feelings of uselessness. A study conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, showed that retired men were 40% more likely than employed men to experience depression, and that the greatest increase in suicide rates between 2000 and 2016 occurred among 45-64 year old men. Data from 202,584 Australian participants in the “45 and Up Study” around retirement, age, gender, and mental health found that being fully retired or unemployed for men and women ages 45-64 resulted in higher levels of psychological distress.Exploring what gives you a deep sense of meaning and purpose before fully quitting work allows you to navigate retirement successfully and find satisfaction more quickly. Beginning the process of exploring who you are in a foundational way at least 10-15 years before your planned retirement is ideal. Just like you start saving for retirement early, beginning early exploration of your emotional self allows you to start to find balance and integrate your true self long before it comes time to turn in your keys. Just as your lifestyle, choices, and expectations change based on your financial situation, these aspects also shift based on how emotionally ready you are to slow down and ease into retirement. To put it simply: only when you dedicate time and energy to both your practical preparedness and emotional preparedness will success not only be found, but also maintained. By starting early, when the time comes, you’ll be smoothly gliding down the road to retirement with the wind at your back.

Tip #3: Give yourself flexibility, compassion, and grace. 

Many people think that tossing away a routine, especially one that only marginally contributes to happiness, will be easy. But walking away from something so familiar as your “routine,” that spans multiple decades of your life, isn’t easy. Be prepared to give yourself grace. For some people, this newfound sense of freedom is empowering. For many others – especially high performers that struggled to downshift while they were working full-time – the expansiveness and lack of structure can be overwhelming and debilitating.Expect to struggle a bit as you step into the freedom that comes with suddenly having no time restrictions or schedules that you have to keep. Of course, this struggle can be greatly mitigated by being armed with extensive knowledge about who you really are and what it takes for you to feel emotionally satisfied. Learning how to give yourself flexibility, compassion, and grace as you transition from your career into retirement will be essential as you navigate this life transition. Remember: retirement often spans a third of your life. There’s plenty of time to sort it all out – and the earlier you begin, the better.

Tip #4: Commit to your own search for deep meaning in your life. 

In Daniel Pink’s book, A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future, he discusses that as a society, with the advent of abundance, automation, and prosperity, we’ve been nudged into a new age: the Conceptual Age. He posits that in this new era, left-brained activity and linear proficiencies will no longer be the key to getting ahead and achieving success. His argument is that even though we’ve moved into an era of prosperity, people’s life satisfaction has not grown as a result. Simply put, we’ve evolved from a society that grew on someone’s back to today’s society that exists and thrives because of people’s ability to bring their heart into everything that they do.Most people have reached some level of financial success and prosperity when it’s time to retire. However, the number one thing that many people struggle with is finding consistent, genuine, and lasting meaning. By no longer working, many lose their sense of purpose and identity, often struggling to enjoy the richness of life that comes with this new chapter.In this new era of your life, meaning is key to finding your groove and settling in with grace, energy, fulfillment, and deep satisfaction. In order to find meaning, you must discover, explore, and embrace your right brain, making friends with your heart – the source of your ability to feel deeply about your life and meaningfully connect. To transition successfully and find deep meaning in your retirement years, growing and developing your right brain is key as you learn to find – and hold onto – a sense of personal achievement and professional success, however you choose to spend your time. While financial abundance can bring freedom, prosperity alone does not lead to fulfillment. One’s life must have meaning, otherwise, it’s just an empty experience.

Final Thoughts

In retirement, finding your sense of purpose is the number one way to discover meaning in your life and successfully navigating this major life transition. Retirement needs to not only be a financial consideration that you spend time and energy planning for extensively in advance, but also a psychological consideration that you devote equal amounts of attention to. Retirement is literally the opportunity of your lifetime – the chance to distribute the wisdom that you’ve accrued over the course of your lifetime – all while having the abundance, freedom, and prosperity to do so in whatever manner calls to you.The famous psychologist, Viktor Frankl knew much about looking for meaning in life. In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, he wrote “Happiness cannot be pursued, it must ensue. One must have a reason to be happy.” He believed that the very pursuit of happiness is what gets in the way of happiness, but that once you’ve found a connection to a deeper meaning inside, happiness comes automatically. What a concept: happiness really is a “no brainer.”About Kate Schroeder, M.ED., LPC, NCCKate is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and owner of Transformation Counseling, LLC. With over 25 years in the mental health field, her clinical background includes experience as a school counselor, mental health therapist in an urban university’s counseling center, individual, couples, group, and family therapist, and clinical researcher. Within these settings, Kate has provided dedicated counseling for clients experiencing difficulties in areas including Complex PTSD (C-PTSD), depression and anxiety, human development and life transitions, interpersonal relationships, grief and trauma, self-efficacy, career exploration, and various other interpersonal conflicts. In addition to her private practice, she also works as an Associate Adjunct Professor in the Counseling Department at Webster University where she teaches graduate courses to counselors in training. Through personalized and experiential psychotherapy methods as well as the use of both the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® and the Enneagram typology system of personality, Kate works with individuals to identify and address deep, long standing pain points that lead to profound, lasting solutions. For more information, please visit www.kateschroederlpc.com.