5 Steps to Get Out of Your Rut

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The more I talk to women from all walks of life, the more I hear “I feel like I am stuck in a rut, spinning my wheels with no way to get out.” Too many women over 50 feel like they are driving aimlessly through life with no purpose or plan. Loneliness, depression and a sense of hopelessness take over, and instead of enjoying the freedoms of life after 50, they sink deeper into the quicksand of despair.

As a woman over 50, I can tell you that this is your time to be excited about life! You have been a wife, mom, caregiver, career woman and volunteer, and the monotonous treadmill of everyday life does not have to remain your daily routine.

So how do you get out of your rut? How do you find excitement in your life again?

Here are five steps to take to get you on a path for a more fulfilling life.

1.  Give yourself permission to change. This is a very difficult step for most of us since we have been conditioned to believe that we must put the needs of others first, and that we cannot follow our own dreams because that would be selfish. We grew up watching our mothers live rather ho-hum lives after 50, and grew up thinking that’s how it would be for us. Now that we ARE over 50, that could not be further from the truth!

You really don’t have to ask for someone’s permission to live with more passion and purpose. You have worked hard, lived unselfishly and put your own dreams on the back burner for years. But if you still need to be granted that freedom, today I am giving you “official permission” to become the woman you want to be!

2.  Vision a better future.  Ask yourself these questions:

What is your highest vision for yourself? What do you want most in terms of career, self-fulfillment, and making a difference in the world? No limitations here! Don’t let your self-critic sabotage your dreams.

What will my life be like a year from now if I don’t change?

What are the best things that will happen if I begin taking small steps toward my new vision today.

3.  Make a plan, then begin with small steps.

Write your new vision in vivid details, then create a set of goals to get you to that “dream destination.” What goal will propel you toward that vision quickest? Start there, and break that goal down into small steps. Begin with one tiny step, and let each step grow as your confidence builds. Thirty small steps equal one giant leap! You don’t have to do it all at once, but you do need to keep moving forward.

4.  Surround yourself with people who bring energy and joy to your life.

If you want to grow and change,  find others who are of the same mindset. You will never begin your journey if you let the “bucket dippers” in your life hold you back. Sometimes you have to break free from the people who are satisfied with the status quo in order to find new excitement about the future. Find a group of girlfriends, a life coach or a professional organization (or, better yet, all three!) who will motivate you, support your journey and help you reach your goals.

5. Celebrate along the way. Every time you reach a milestone, celebrate your success with your supporters! (See #4) Even if it is just a small step forward, it’s a move in the right direction. Be proud that you are allowing yourself to reach your full potential, out of the rut and enjoying the road ahead. Shake off the dust from that rut and let yourself shine! The world is waiting for you!

Need a little help to get out of your rut and on your way toward an exhilarating future? Click here to read about ways we can work together to move you from frustrated and flat to focused and fulfilled.

Susan Tolles is the founder of www.flourishover50.com.