A Much Needed Reminder of What I Need in the “Game” of Life

By Susan “Honey” Good

My life is multi-faceted, and I like it just fine. I lead a colorful life. My problem with so much colorfulness is there are not enough hours in the day to be all things to all people, and that includes time for myself. Every woman has to have a little time for herself. Right?

FRIDAY IS GIRLFRIEND DAY. THE REST OF THE DAYS ARE ‘MISTRESS DAYS.’

Each Friday, I MAKE time to enjoy being a girlfriend. A few weeks ago, I decided to join a group of women who meet for lunch, cards, and togetherness each Friday. I have known these women for years because we spend our winters together in California. I enjoy their company, and I appreciate the card game.

The other days of the week, I am involved, primarily, in being ‘mistress to my husband,’ ‘mistress of my home ’ and ‘mistress to HoneyGood.com.’ And, then there are the children and the Grands and travel and… in the beginning of September, a new pooch to adore.

I HAVE DECIDED TO TWEAK MY LIFESTYLE, A WEE BIT.

Over the past six years, I have slowly, because of HoneyGood.com, dropped out of daily interaction with groups. Like a newborn baby, each year this community of ours has grown, adding more and more responsibilities to my role as the ‘Mistress’ of HoneyGood.com; my little hobby turned business.

Therefore, each year my interactions with group friendships have diminished. I no longer have time to play golf or play cards or join book and movie clubs. Aside from my weekly Friday group, I see close friends for an occasional lunch date and a variety of friends, as couples, during the evening, going to movies, concerts and afterward dinner.

THE FRIDAY CARD GAME AND WHAT I LEARNED.

The first time I played cards in the Friday ‘group’ it is hard to explain what came over me; I’d describe it as a shockwave of surprise and a warm feeling as I listened to the ladies banter back and forth. I know all of the women, of course, because we all belong to the same country club in Palm Springs, California, a huge group! Six months of togetherness — and I mean togetherness — is a long time, and, over the years, women get to know one another.

WHAT CAME OVER ME?

What came over me? I had forgotten the lovely networking and interaction among the several groups that made our club ‘a whole.’ Where had I been? I had missed out on six years of bonding with groups of girlfriends that I once had in droves before I began writing! And, I missed it. Not the golf, not the cards, not the movie or book clubs so much. I missed being a constant part of ‘girly’ togetherness where moods are lifted, and gabfests occur.

“No man is an Island. No man stands, alone.” I do not want to be an Island. On the other hand, I have to be my own person, dance to my own drummer, because that is who I am. So, I want my business, and I want to belong. It is difficult, at best, to be all things to all people… including one’s self.

When a woman takes a different path, as I have, not doing what the other women do, she is often forgotten because she does not have the time to be part of groups. In all honesty, she is sometimes admired and respected for her path and other times resented. I think she is praised when she makes a point of bonding with the group.

A WOMAN’S GOT TO DO WHAT A WOMAN’S GOT TO DO… MAKE HER OWN CHOICES!

Half of me has never been much of a conformist. I like that, just fine. My home in California reflects my individuality. The way I dress reflects my personal preferences. My new found career  — started in my sixties — depicts my need to live outside the box, to be challenged, curious and excited to wake up each day.

The other half of me is a conformist who knows that group friendships in a woman’s life, to include my own, are very meaningful and powerful. Each relationship we nurture makes life a little more vibrant.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a treasure chest of wonderful friends. My friends are not in one group. They are all over. I wish, at times, I could pool them all together into one group and have a party. OMG, this group would be so eclectic, so exciting and colorful. Maybe I will do just that! And add one more item to my agenda. I am smiling!

As women, we often try to have it all, balancing family, friends, career and personal development. There is so much on our plates that it is easy to neglect specific pieces of the pie. For me, I realized that in my ‘razzle and dazzle’ lifestyle I have been neglecting the sparkle that female bonding adds to my life. It may be tough to have it all, but I’m up for the challenge!

I am grateful that I have the opportunity to nurture the parts of me that shine when I surround myself with women whose friendships help fill my soul.

Susan “Honey” Good is the founder of HoneyGood.com where this blog originally appeared. The site is a collection of lessons learned, life advice and insights from not only her, but from a fantastic group of contributing writers, each adding their own spice to the recipe. Honey Good.com representing “a family tree of women” — wives, mothers, daughters, granddaughters, mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law, sisters, aunts, cousins and girlfriends — coming together to talk about what makes them tick as well as what they have in common. Honey Good discusses life experiences with wisdom, humor and intellect, enabling all to attain a “Honey Good Style of Life.”