How – and When – to Voice Disapproval

By Susan “Honey” Good

I met Jeffrey, my trainer, several years ago. We have a close friendship. Though he is a non-stop talker, I am kind hearted for 50 minutes, twice a week as I listen to his non-stop chatter.

I often think to myself, “Jeffrey, pleeeze, stop talking.” I refrain from voicing disapproval because I am in a positive territory with my feelings. When Jeffrey leaves, I smile to myself knowing I made the right choice.

Sometimes I am betwixt, bothered and bewildered. My mind is signaling me to voice my disapproval while my heart often holds me back. In Jeffrey’s case, my heart is correct. In other cases, my mind is right.

Voice Disapproval or Hit Delete?

Fortunately, I rarely need to voice my disapproval of another person. I like people and understand that frailties exist and I can excuse their behavior.

When their actions bother me to an extreme, where my body and mind are out of sorts, I delete them from my life and I am once again in harmony with my mind and body.

I think it is necessary to voice or demonstrate your feelings of disapproval when you are unhappy about a situation or person.

The problem for many women of all ages is that they are afraid to express their displeasure for fear of being disapproved of by others or they lack verbal skills.

They are uncomfortable saying “no” when asked to head a committee or they fear expressing their displeasure with a friend, co-worker or family member.

(Read my story here about the art of learning to say “no!” It is life changing!)

Life In Harmony

Living a life style after 50 in harmony with your inner being is worth its weight in gold. There is no price you can put on your emotional feelings.  Speak ‘your truth.’

So many men and women are afraid to give power to their voice. It dates back to childhood when parents had control. They made the rules. Children followed their lead keeping their mouths shut so they would not face disapproval. Our generation was the generation ‘that was seen and not heard.’ Our parents did the best they could, not realizing they were creating fear in their children to voice their disapproval. This is no longer the case. The tables have turned …now the parents keep quiet!

As women continue blooming especially over 50,  hopefully a light bulb goes off and you say to yourself, “It is time I begin  to live in harmony with my feelings. I am no longer going to say yes when I want to say no.  My opinions and my ideas are worthwhile to me. I will stop be unnecessarily apologetic and I will not devalue my self-worth.”

Living a lifestyle after 50 in harmony with your inner being is worth its weight in gold. There is no price you can put on your emotional feelings. Speak your truth and do so kindly. You deserve to be heard!

Susan “Honey” Good is the founder of HoneyGood.com where this blog originally appeared. The site is a collection of lessons learned, life advice and insights from not only her, but from a fantastic group of contributing writers, each adding their own spice to the recipe. Honey Good.com representing “a family tree of women” — wives, mothers, daughters, granddaughters, mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law, sisters, aunts, cousins and girlfriends — coming together to talk about what makes them tick as well as what they have in common. Honey Good discusses life experiences with wisdom, humor and intellect, enabling all to attain a “Honey Good Style of Life.”