How to Achieve Long-Term Love

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“When your heart speaks, take good notes” Joseph Campbell

Many of us don’t believe in love because of our experiences with what seems to be a great love at the beginning, which inevitably turned into a difficult and contentious relationship.
Is there a way to tell if someone is likely to be a compatible long-term partner?

One answer was found by interviewing hundreds of long-married couples about what works and what doesn’t for a long and satisfying relationship. They said the most straightforward answer to long-term love is basic similarities.

I know, conventional wisdom says opposites attract, but when over 500 people who have been married 40, 50 and more years were asked: What is most important for a long and happy marriage?, their advice was nearly unanimous.

Opposites may attract, but they don’t usually make for great and lasting marriages.

There are all kinds of reasons for falling in love. Most common are physical attraction, a great sense of humor, affluence, and that ever illusive “chemistry”.

Not often do you hear: We share the same core values!”

However, if you are searching for a long, happy marriage, our elders advise you to find someone whose values align very well with your own. Their version of a “magic bullet” when it comes to deciding: “Should I stay or should I go?” Core values.

I must agree, after waiting until age 49 to meet my match.

There were so many things that attracted me to Mike when we met over nine years ago now, but the many similarities in our core values turned out to be the clincher on this deal.

Trusting and respecting your partners’ judgment is key, and that happens when you know you will have the same take on most value-related decisions!

Laura Lee Carter, MA Counseling Psychology, the writer behind the popular online Midlife Crisis Queen, has been helping others turn midlife difficulties into opportunities for personal change since 2007. Besides working as a psychotherapist, Laura Lee has authored a number of books and e-books on midlife transformation. Don’t miss her new bookFind Your Reason to Be Here: The Search for Meaning in Midlife. Follow her on Twitter: @midlifequeen