How to Beat Loneliness After 50

By Susan “Honey” Good

There are so many lonely people in the world. I am here to tell those of you who are in lonely marriages, living alone, divorced or widowed… there are several ways of combating loneliness after the age of 50. Ultimately, the solution lies within you.

I have found that the way to combat the feeling of loneliness is through connections. And, I do not necessarily mean with people. Of course, nothing is lovelier than the love between a man and a woman, a child and a parent and adult friends. Unfortunately, for some, these relationships are burdened with problems.

This morning, as I do every morning at 6 am, I am popping four pills down the throat of my darling dog, Orchid. After each pill slides down, I give her nose a kiss and tell her how much I love her. I then hug her to me and tell her that the pills will make her well. I feel overwhelmed with love as she stares up at me with her big black eyes, as if to say, “I understand.” We are companions. I am engulfed in joy. I am anything but lonely.

I then walk into my living room, sit down at my computer, stare out the windows and watch a magnificent sun rising in the East over the lake. I feel a strong and happy emotion as I watch the sun burst out of the lake. I am anything but lonely. I am captivated by this view. I am happy.

Dear readers, there are many ways to combat your loneliness. First and foremost, you have to put on your big girl panties and take positive action.

 How To Beat Loneliness After 50

Buy a four -legged friend, pick up the phone and make a date with a person or persons you enjoy, take classes, join a church or synagogue, join a book club, talk about your loneliness to a best friend or professional, be friendly in a group, go on a group tour, reconnect with an old friend.

Clarify your purpose in life and then pursue it with a passion. Make sure you are not clinically depressed. 

I want you to realize you do not need a partner.

I am remembering how lonely I felt when I lost my late husband. I lived in my beautiful Honolulu. Looking back twenty- seven years ago I remember how I began to heal. I surrounded myself with ‘things’ I loved. A lanai filled with orchids. An apartment at the sea. A Koi pond filled with beautiful fish beneath my apartment, my daughter Jenny moved in, my dog at the time Mahalo, my favorite book at the time, How to Survive the Loss of a Love, my four mile walks each day with my pooch. I even had a romance with ‘time.’ Time heals and time became my friend.

When I was a little girl and lived in Kankakee by the Sea I felt lonely, at times, because I was in a minority, I played with my story book dolls and wrote in my diary. Neither was human and yet they brought me joy and I was happy… not lonely.

As we age, we have time to think about what makes us tick. What arouses positive feelings? Bring more of that into your life.

Be grateful for the good in your life and you will be happier and less lonely.

To watch the sun come up, to walk through your home and glance at your books and cherished gifts from family and friends, to see photos of those you love, to smell fresh coffee brewing in your kitchen. So much. So much.

So, if you are feeling lonely because you are without a soul mate, latch onto other types of loves. Remember loneliness is a state of mind that comes from forgetting what makes you content and happy.

Susan “Honey” Good is the founder of HoneyGood.com where this blog originally appeared. The site is a collection of lessons learned, life advice and insights from not only her, but from a fantastic group of contributing writers, each adding their own spice to the recipe. Honey Good.com representing “a family tree of women” — wives, mothers, daughters, granddaughters, mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law, sisters, aunts, cousins and girlfriends — coming together to talk about what makes them tick as well as what they have in common. Honey Good discusses life experiences with wisdom, humor and intellect, enabling all to attain a “Honey Good Style of Life.”