I Love the Inn at Mazatlán

By Sally Franz

I love the Inn at Mazatlán, Mexico. It is the perfect blend of old world charm, Mexican art and all the upgrades that make a stay worth repeating. I love this hotel so much I bought a timeshare there. The beach is a world-class bodysurfing site. Or at least I rate it that and I have been to some of the best: Nobadeer, Nantucket; Anakena, Rapa Nui; Hana Bay, Maui; Fire Island, Long Island and Tulum, Yucatan.

But if you are more of a pool person, this place has two of them close enough to hear the waves crashing. One pool has two small islands that are home to few lethargic Iguanas. It also has a waterfall you can swim to and let it soothe your shoulders. It is in the heart of the Gold Coast district so restaurants and shopping abound, but the restaurant at the Inn, Papagayo, is excellent, so why go anywhere else? Especially when lunch can be ordered poolside. Picture pollo nachos, steak burritos, umbrella drinks, guacamole and hot tortillas. And with the dollar-to-peso ratio it was the price of a Happy Meal. I’d like to see Mickey-Ds put a cabana in their lunch boxes as a prize! Did I mention the bilingual, gracious staff? Amazing people, many of whom have worked there for over 30 years. That is tradition, that is loyalty and that equals service, ole!

Adventure awaits for those who seek it. On our Sunday stroll we found a batch of baby sea turtles stuck in a nearby new construction site, swimming around in about 2 feet of water in a foundation. They had obviously just hatched and went diving into the first available water. My husband walked over, scooped them up in a cup and we released them into the waves. We saved 25 baby turtles. “You totally rock little Squirt.” Mama “Crush” has your back. (Yup, I was in Finding Nemo heaven.)

But for the more athletic there are places along the beach for sports equipment rentals: jet skis, kayaks, catamarans, and parachute rides behind speedboats. Me? I’m happy rescuing baby turtles and walking the beach looking for shells and whatever washes ashore. This trip I inherited a straw cowboy hat that tumbled to my feet. New fashion trend: Wave-washed Chic. Or in my case: washed-up chick.

The only thing that is unpleasant when you travel to these paradise resorts is the people who have to bitch ‘n moan about nada. No matter where in the world I go there are people with nasty attitudes who abuse staff, expect people to jump through hoops and those are usually the ones who stiff the staff on room and table tips. And now, lord have mercy, they have YELP! and Tripadvisor. They gain great delight in ruining people. Little-biddy power broker trolls. Basta! (enough).

I say let’s start a website called WHINERS. Then all the good hotels, restaurants and small business can share their photos of these wimps and their bad behavior. But let’s extend this. Anytime any of us hears a customer whining crap—start the phone video rolling. You know comments such as, “I come here every year and I expect…” “Do you know who I am?” “This is unacceptable service” (extra points if there are 200 people waiting to re-book a flight with three attendants). Let’s give them a cyber time-out!

One review said that there was an ant “infestation”. Give me a break. There are moisture ants in most tropical areas. In Mazatlán they are literally smaller than the head of the pin. If you dry the bathroom sink off before you leave they go away. Another person wanted to rip out the antique mahogany hand-hewn dressers and Mexican tiles to update it to granite and chrome- you can’t make this stuff up. Folks, the whole reason I travel is to be surrounded with culture other than my own. If you don’t like your slice of paradise with a dollop of salsa, stop whining and check into an executive suite somewhere far, far away.

Sally Franz and her third husband live on the Olympic Peninsula. She has two daughters, a stepson, and three grandchildren. Sally is the author of several humor books including Scrambled Leggs: A Snarky Tale of Hospital Hooey and The Baby Boomer’s Guide to Menopause. She hosts a local radio humor segment, “Baby Boomer Humor with Sassy Sally”.