Just for a Lark

By Sally Franz

Have you ever wondered how the names for groups of animals came into existence? Wonder no more. Take pride in your lions and flock around wee birds. Here is the story and my inane commentary on a gaggle of my favorites.

Apparently back in the late 1480s a popular book series on sports and hunting was published in Westminster by Wynkyn Worde under the title of The Book of St. Albans (then with a specialty theme for that book, hunting, shooting, etc.). They were collections of essays (think blog if you are under 30) and in one was a piece written by Juliana Berners. Though I doubt she collected any royalties since Wikipedia lists Ms. Berners as having been born in 1388.
Juliana was apparently from an affluent family, educated and had learned to hunt at an early age. She apparently thrived in the out-of-doors and loved learning about wildlife. In her essay she created, as the Oxford Dictionary says, “fanciful, funny and spectacularly imaginative names for groups of animals.” I suppose she had a great deal of time on her pampered hands and lucky for us put it to good use. The names were more of a lark (an exaltation of larks to be exact). And since no one else had thought to give groups names to animals,Berners’ versions caught on even with biologists.
So here we go. A Congress of Alligators. Yes even back in the 1400s, Congress had a reptilian reputation. Not to be outdone by a Drove of Asses. Rather progressive for her times, but yes they usually come in droves. There is a Culture of Bacteria and of course we can see that just in the violence in our movies. Barracudas come in Batteries, not to be confused with electric eels. Seabirds come in Wrecks, which is what seagulls will do to your car if left too long. Listen for the Bellowing of the Bullfinches. Guess she had a migraine that day, Bullfinches hardly even squeak. A Wake of Buzzards. I like that. Nice to know they are so respectful of the carrion they are about to consume. This one is a puzzle, A Quiver of Cobras. I think it would be me that is quivering. And a Mob of Emu sounds menacing. She must have been rich to have traveled to see emu.

I love the Implausibility of Gnus. Maybe she didn’t like the silent “G”. This one is delight: a Smack of Jellyfish. Now when your grandkids are talking smack to Nana you can call them Jellyfish. This one just sounds like she is messing with us: a Lounge of Lizards. Might have to send this one to Bill Murray. A Scourge of Mosquitos is certainly on target. Apparently there is a Pandemonium of Parrots, a Crash of Rhinos, an Intrusion of Cockroaches and a Shiver of Sharks, but hopefully not all in the same day. This lady has some issues with birds, too. How about a Mutation of Thrush and a Parliament of Owls? Harsh. Rounding out my short list there is a Venue of Vultures. (Sounds like a cafeteria at college). A Wisdom of Wombats (what does Juliana know that we do not about wombats?) and at long last a Dazzle of Zebras.
There you have it the group names of many animals. Maybe if I want to be famous in 200 years I should start naming something that hasn’t been grouped together yet. A Needle of Quilters, a Glue Gun of Crafters, or a Floundering of Fishermen.

Sally Franz and her third husband live on the Olympic Peninsula. She has two daughters, a stepson, and three grandchildren. Sally is the author of several humor books including Scrambled Leggs: A Snarky Tale of Hospital Hooey and The Baby Boomer’s Guide to Menopause. She hosts a local radio humor segment, “Baby Boomer Humor with Sassy Sally”.