Make This Your Year for Change, 2014

By thirdAGE

The reality of life can be painful and widowhood is a harsh reality. I remember feeling sad about another year coming, identifying myself as a “widow”, and rather than being excited about what I could create in the new year personally, professionally, physically, or spiritually, I just stayed in my “widowhood”. That had to change, and it did.

I’m not a “resolution making” person but I do have aspirations and not just on January 1^st. There’s more power in aspiring then in resolving. Aspirations do require change and change certainly isn’t easy but the first step is to realize that you do have control and you can aspire to move you forward. New habits and behaviors can be uncomfortable, at first. Then, with repeated practice they become the new normal for you.

Before starting to write down what you aspire to in the coming year, I challenge you to write down what makes you who you are, you the woman. Do not include your marital status! If you write anything, you’re a writer. If you exercise you’re an athlete, if you practice yoga you’re a yogi. Are you an advisor, a philosopher, a cook, a bookkeeper? If you have children you are a counselor. What are the many wonderful things you offer to others that make up who you are? What do you identify with?

What would you like to add to that list in the New Year? Think aspirations rather than resolutions. “I aspire to (a strong desire, an ambition, a desired objective)______________________________________________.”

Next, what steps do you need to take to move you toward fulfilling that aspiration? Make the steps small and doable. If you aspire to write, commit to writing fifteen minutes a day. Don’t overcommit.

 Audrey Pellicano R.N., M.S. is a Health Counselor to widowed women, working with them to help them the courage to create a new role for themselves and face the world again without pain. She has been in the health care industry for 37 years as a Registered Nurse and Case Manager with a Masters degree in Health Science. Through her 20 years of widowhood, Audrey has experienced the lack of attention and knowledge given to widows. Her unique approach encompasses utilizing the dynamic tools that she knows work, including visualization and meditation. Please visit www.wisewidow.com. You can contact Audrey at audrey@wisewidow.com.