My Secret to Walking on the Sunny Side of the Street

By Susan “Honey” Good

I know it is hard for some of you, darlings, to walk on the sunny side of the street because life is not always a bowl of cherries. It is complicated. I am fully aware that some women handle adversity better than others. We are all fragile at certain times for different reasons.

I walk on the sunny side of the street because I am a pragmatist — a pragmatist with a pinch of idealism. A pragmatist is a person who is sensible and realistic in their approach to life’s situations. The combination of traits enables me to walk on the sunny side of the street. How do I do this?

First of all, I do not live in la-la land. I am far more pragmatic than idealistic. But, it is that pinch of idealism that gives me the power to know that when I stay grounded, anything is possible.

Here is how I tackled a few unexpected trials that came my way. I hope that my unpleasant situations may give you some positive insight on how to roll with the punches, stay grounded and walk on the sunny side of the street.

TWO VIGNETTES

Most of you know I am very fortunate to spend the winters in sunny California.

All of you know that when a woman travels, she takes more than she needs. All of my friends who spend the winter away from home take everything but the kitchen sink!

Too many shoes they never wear, too many handbags they never fill, too many belts, dresses, pants, sweaters, scarves, jewelry, etc. I am no exception. It is part of our feminine mystique. At the end of the winter, these girlfriends I speak of pack everything up and cart it home to refill their empty closets.

In my case, plans are put in place, months in advance, for the trip ‘home.’ Airplane tickets are purchased. Trucking companies are hired to take home cars filled with clothes, important papers, books, shoes, etc. The date of the pick-up is determined — it is always a date that falls a few days before we fly home so that we will have our cars and belongings a day or two after we are once again ensconced in our Chicago home. Not so this year!

A BUMP IN THE ROAD

The day before we were to leave California for Chicago this year, the trucking company that we have used for several years phoned to tell us the driver was in a hospital in Utah! We would have to find another company for our cars. A friend, whose cars travel with ours, had a list of five companies. One company came to our rescue! The night before we were to fly out of California, our cars were picked up.

The problem was this: We had no idea when the cars would arrive in Chicago. We were given no guarantee of arrival date. We knew they were driven by truck to L.A. and would be stored until a large truck had a full load of cars that needed transportation to Chicago.

You must remember that I packed everything in the cars. I had an empty closet in Chicago and important papers I needed, as well as other items.

This was my reaction to the situation.  I decided to go with the flow. I reasoned with myself in this manner:

1. I was happy we found, at the last minute, a trucking company to take our cars. I considered that a miracle and I was grateful.
2. I had no control over the trucking company. Our cars would arrive when they arrived.
3. I refused to even think about the circumstances of an empty closet and papers needed because I reasoned that in good time all would arrive. Until that time, I would live my life on the sunny side of the street. And, I did just that.

Our cars arrived last night at 10:00 p.m. They were picked up on the night of May 7.  Some of my friends and some of you, who are my HoneyGood.com friends, would anguish over this situation, dwell on it and be unreasonable and upset. For what?

The moral of the story is: Getting upset will not solve your problem. It will make the problem worse. So, my darlings, learn to be pragmatic with a touch of idealism and say this to yourself, “Thank God, I know this inconvenience will pass.”

AN IMPORTANT EVENT GETS PROCRASTINATED

This problem was 100% my fault. I procrastinated. My ultimate concierge’s birthday is in June, and I decided I wanted to have ‘a celebration’ for him.  He loved the idea. I know only too well, planning a party takes time and thought.

Each day I said, “I will start tomorrow.” I was distraught over losing Orchid and did not feel festive, I packed and traveled to Dubai, I organized and packed for Chicago, and each day I put off planning the party.

I did reserve the space. I did make a guest list and hire the florist. But, I had done nothing about the invitations! How did I survive my panic of not ordering the invitations in time to give notice to our guests, six weeks in advance?

INSTEAD OF PULLING YOUR HAIR OUT, TAKE ACTION!

1. I changed the date of the party from June 2 to June 22. That was resourceful. My ultimate concierge’s actual birthday is June 4. I reasoned we would spend a wonderful June 4 together and as long as the party was in June, it would be fine. I was very pragmatic. Right? The first problem solved.
2. The invitation created problems. Real problems. I planned on going to a shop that turned out to be out of business. No panic. I called the florist for a recommendation. I knew they knew the best.
3. I took a cab to the address and found out it was out of business, too! Now what, darlings? Not one to give up…
4. I called a friend as I was desperately trying to flag down a taxi. She gave me the name of a card shop. The taxi dropped me off and I walked into a place I knew was not what I wanted. But, I said to myself: “Just deal!”
5. Three hours later, I had the save the date card picked and printed, the invitation designed and ordered, and a calligrapher hired who would do the save the date envelopes in one day. I would not have the invitations until 3 ½ weeks before the party so of course, I had to send a save the date. I went home, exhausted but thought my mission was accomplished. Not to be!
6. The company designing the invitation called to tell me they could not do the invitation the way I ordered it.  I could have let myself get angry with the girl in the store who told me there would be no problem. I could have fallen apart because I was disappointed, frustrated and tired. I did not.
7. I had to change the invitation and the envelope over email with this out of state company! I took a deep breath and made everything happen. I would not allow myself to become distracted by negativity because I knew I would not be serving myself well.
8. I called the calligrapher and asked her if she could do the calligraphy on the envelopes in gold. She said, “yes.” I went to the post office and bought a stamp that would look perfect on the invitation envelope.
9. I mailed the save the date cards after the calligrapher had to return to my home to pick up the envelopes for the second time because she forgot to put the return address on the back of each envelope! And the salesgirl who printed the save the date cards shorted my order by three and had to run over to my home with the three I needed!

ALL IS WELL THAT ENDS WELL

Don’t ask, darlings, what I put myself through. The situation was worse than I can convey in the written word. I wish I could have filmed the process because it was a comedy of errors from start to finish.

I survived because I stayed focused and turned my negatives into positives. The calligrapher and I became friends. I found a perfect place –the shop where I purchased the invites –for business cards for my husband!  I became friendly with the salesgirl even though she made a few errors and I stayed idealistic saying to myself, “This will turn out well.” In this instance, my idealistic attitude was the key to my survival!

So turn on your pragmatism and move forward to accomplishing your goal and add your idealism when the going gets tough and I do promise you, you will be able to walk on the sunny side of the street! I know from experience.

Susan “Honey” Good is the founder of HoneyGood.com where this blog originally appeared. The site is a collection of lessons learned, life advice and insights from not only her, but from a fantastic group of contributing writers, each adding their own spice to the recipe. Honey Good.com representing “a family tree of women” — wives, mothers, daughters, granddaughters, mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law, sisters, aunts, cousins and girlfriends — coming together to talk about what makes them tick as well as what they have in common. Honey Good discusses life experiences with wisdom, humor and intellect, enabling all to attain a “Honey Good Style of Life.”