The Power of Perseverance

By Jane Zarse

I know how easy it is to give up and stay stuck. I am a recovering alcoholic who lived in fear for over a decade. I was depressed, lost, hopeless and helpless. The power of hope saved my life. The fear of dying in my disease led me to Alcoholics Anonymous where I saw other people living rewarding lives free of alcoholic torture. I was told that I needed to find a power greater than alcohol and I choose to call that power God. If you don’t like the word God, you can choose an alternative term such as Higher Power, Love, or The Universe. The solution for alcoholism is spiritual, therefore it was imperative for me to find a higher power that gives me strength.

I am a firm believer in the power of prayer. Prayer depends on the one who prays. It is immaterial to whom you pray. You are more than enough for a prayer to happen and receive positive results. Alcoholics are notorious for feeling empty and lonely. My newfound power in prayer removed my loneliness and fundamentally changed my belief system. When I was drinking, I thought I lived alone in a world that was against me. When I started praying, I began to believe that I lived in an abundant universe that supports me. This was a major psychic change.

Change can feel scary and unfamiliar. I drank away my freedom, friends, family, integrity, and dignity, but I was still scared to step out of my drunken haze. I erroneously used to think alcohol was the solution for my emotional pain. It was all I knew. When I was able to put the drink down, I came to learn that I was still left with all the pain I was trying to escape. External escapism does not fix what is wrong internally. It is just an effective method to temporarily alter the way one feels and keep people in denial.

If you are reaching for something externally to change how you feel, you are doing yourself a disservice and not addressing the root of the problem. Common external fixes are drugs, food, alcohol, cutting, or gambling. We reach for escapism externally and it readily turns into self-abuse, which is hard to arrest. The first step is admitting there is a problem bigger than you and using the power of prayer to combat it.

As a drunk, I repeatedly chose comfort over character. Physical sobriety is a great start, but it is not enough. I knew how to stop drinking, but I needed to tap into a higher power to stay stopped. No human power could have relieved me from my alcoholism. I finally wanted to stay sober more than I wanted to drink. With God’s love, I was able to change my old thinking pattern. I now ask God each morning to help keep me sober for that day and in return I am gracefully given a daily reprieve.

My attitude and outlook upon life has also improved. I give all the credit to God and the good people of Alcoholics Anonymous. AA also stands for attitude adjustment. Perception is key. It is impossible to live a good life with a bad attitude. I have learned to live in a world where things don’t always go my way. Sometimes God uses terrible circumstances and situations to develop our character. It is hard to see this in the moment, but retrospectively it computes. I now choose to believe that all of the unpleasant situations were not happening to me, but rather for me. It is easy to behave when everything is going our way, but how we handle the bad times is what matters. Our character is developed though the difficulties.

When it’s good, it’s good. When it’s bad, there is a lesson. Electing to believe in a loving God and a supportive universe gives me the power to persevere during hard times. I take personal inventory when things go wrong to preclude from repeating the same mistake. The same man drinks again. I needed to change my thinking about the way I see myself and the world. When I believed that I could never quit drinking, I was 100% correct. When I started to believe in a supportive world, my life miraculously got better. We will never go beyond what we think. Our thinking dictates our behaviors, which dictate our character and our place in the world.

I believe in the will of God, and it is my responsibility to exercise acceptance. I failed miserably trying to live exclusively on my own will and intelligence. I don’t have to always like it, but I need to accept people and situations for my own internal peace. I no longer let self-will run riot. I no longer want to damage myself over uncontrollable events. I place trust in the universe and am learning how to dance with reality, instead of diving back into self-destruction. It isn’t always easy, but it is simple. I can’t stay sober alone and I’m done trying things my way. If you need strength in life, pray about it. See what happens.

Jane Zarse grew up in the private school world of privilege and excess as she spiraled into alcoholism before joining Alcoholics Anonymous and finding her way back. In “Love and Compassion Is My Religion: A Beginner’s Book into Spirituality,” (http://tinyurl.com/z5u236t) she writes about learning to love herself again and how finding spirituality helped her do so.