We Should Bloom Where We Flower

By Susan “Honey” Good

We hold in our little hands the power to continue to bloom after 50. We also have the power to wilt.

In fact, I can think of a few main reasons why we have the tendency to wilt after 50. One of the reasons is fear of the unknown, another reason is lack of determination and lastly the awful word, negativity. Negativity and feeling a lack of determination sets in when we fear the unknown.

For those of you who feel you have to gather up your courage in order to spread your wings when entering a new passage in life, I will tell you with all sincerity, even the most outgoing, educated and courageous woman has to take a deep breath when she decides to spread her wings into unknown territory. But she does it. Why? Because she determines she would rather jump into the unknown than fixate on wondering about potential problems that may or may not arise. In other words, darlings, she decides to replace negativity with positivity. This will ultimately, or hopefully, allow her to override her fears of the unknown. She becomes a determined, bloomin’ risk taker. I am smiling.

The first order of the day is to sit quietly and visualize all the good things you have accomplished in your life because you took risks. Little things like learning to drive a car! I was afraid when I sat behind the wheel for the first time. Weren’t you? But we did it because we were determined and did allow our fear to stand in the way.

You can likely think back on many things you were afraid to tackle, but that you did with success. So, my darlings, you have had years of positive success to prepare yourself for this new passage in life after 50. Think positive. Fight the fear. Get determined!

REPLACE FEAR & NEGATIVITY BY BECOMING VISIBLE & VITAL

You want to come to the positive conclusion that your goal is to remain a visible and vital woman as long as you are alive. So with conviction and a determined fierceness and, of course, some natural fear, which is healthy, take in the good feeling of blooming and flowering rather than the negative emotion of wilting after 50.

You have several approaches to take in order to feel your bloom. You have to choose your path based on your desires and your aspirations. Something you fancy, darlings.

Some of you will prefer the privacy of your home. Your happiness is in the confines of those four walls and that is all for the good because it is there you feel visible.

You may want to read great novels or work in water colors or oils with soft music playing throughout your home. How marvelous.

You may want to make a quilt for a grand.

You may want to needlepoint or redo a room in your home. Just do it!

Take the initiative and order those books you have had a desire to sink your teeth into. Talk to a professional and figure out what brushes and paints and easel you will need to take up painting. Aren’t you feeling better already? Oh my, darlings, there are so many avenues to delve into after 50. I am getting excited just thinking about them.

Going back to college for your degree, traveling the world to see the Komodo dragons, taking up a creative project, joining a group of women or couples for perhaps a movie or book review are all important things! And don’t forget to foster the right kind of relationships at this stage of life.

Or what about working on relationships that have gone astray? I know it takes two to tangle. If the others don’t want to do the dance, you must work at accepting that there are things you cannot change. Seek out professional counseling. Most importantly, be thankful you are not the other person who is carrying all that negative and angry baggage.

TAKE IN THE GOOD

I live my life by taking in the good. On occasion, I have to fake it by smiling when I feel stressed. Smiling immediately lifts my spirits and I get into my bloom mood.

It may seem trite that I wake up each morning feeling grateful. And sure, I have my stuff, just like you have your stuff. It’s life, darlings. But, I override my stuff because I am appreciative for everything. And I think most of you are, too. This also feeds the positive to flower.

This morning, I woke up thinking about my last loving phone call of the night to my daughter-in-law, Jami, who is very important to me. I also thought about my girlfriend Emilie’s wonderful email, and I smiled as I looked down on my pooch, America, sleeping next to me in her crate and my dream man, Sheldon Good, on the other side of me. Finally, I thought about all my tasks for the day and jumped out of bed at 4:00am this morning, smiling.

We transition after 50 from from building careers and raising children to having wonderful personal and meaningful time to engage in activities that make us happy. That means growing and reaching for our personal desires. They are out there. It is up to you to latch onto them in order to flower. To feel visible and relevant… you will feel the bloom.

Susan “Honey” Good is the founder of HoneyGood.com where this blog originally appeared. The site is a collection of lessons learned, life advice and insights from not only her, but from a fantastic group of contributing writers, each adding their own spice to the recipe. Honey Good.com representing “a family tree of women” — wives, mothers, daughters, granddaughters, mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law, sisters, aunts, cousins and girlfriends — coming together to talk about what makes them tick as well as what they have in common. Honey Good discusses life experiences with wisdom, humor and intellect, enabling all to attain a “Honey Good Style of Life.”