What Are Your Own Barriers to Love?

By Laura Lee Carter

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it…”
RUMI 

The moment I saw this quote, I knew it held most of the truth behind any search for love in this world. I know for me, the greatest barrier has always been my faith in the fact that I was deserving of the best kind of affection, attention and appreciation. Once I confronted that barrier and did battle with it, love arrived at my door. And the best part was that I recognized it for exactly what it was and accepted that love wholeheartedly.

I know it sounds too simple to say that we must find ourselves absolutely lovable before we will find and accept love from others, but I’m afraid this is the truth behind most of our struggles. Most of us are unconsciously fighting off affection, when it does not match the way we see ourselves. How can this person see so much to love in me when I do not see it myself? Is this some kind of fraud or manipulation?

Because so many of us have suffered wounds in our past, loving ourselves or feeling deserving of love can be a great challenge. That is why I wrote my book: How To Believe In Love Again.

I struggled with these demons for decades before I finally did the necessary soul surgery and found my way back to a healthy sense of loving myself and feeling worthy of the love of others.

You can too.  What have you got to lose except your loneliness?

Laura Lee Carter, MA Counseling Psychology, the writer behind the popular online blog How to Believe in Love Again, has been helping others turn midlife difficulties into opportunities for personal change since 2007. Besides working as a psychotherapist, Laura Lee has authored a number of books and e-books on midlife transformation.  Don’t miss her new book: Find Your Reason to Be Here: The Search for Meaning in Midlife. Follow her on Twitter: @midlifequeen.