Where Do You Belong?

By Laura Lee Carter

One issue that came up big-time for me in mid-midlife crisis was the realization that I didn’t belong anywhere.  Not in any one particular place or in any relationship.

I had gone about my life up until then, moving where the jobs were and changing relationships as I needed to, with little continuity. The closest I came to belonging was my marriage in my late thirties, and that ended badly seven years later.

I find our culture doesn’t particularly encourage connectedness or belonging, especially when we’re young. But I felt a strong need for a true sense of belonging by my mid-forties. This must be something that comes with age.

When you begin to look back over your life, what do you see? Do you have relationships that will sustain you in your future? Do you have a safe place to fall when bad things happen?

Do you truly belong anywhere in this world?

When I lost my job at age 49 I realized I didn’t even know if I wanted to continue to live in the same part of the country, although that would require pulling up roots once again. I kept asking myself, “Where do I belong?”

It was time for me to find new priorities.

I slowly realized I needed to find a new way of approaching love, or else I would end up alone forever. I would need to take some serious risks. That is when I went through the process described in my book: How To Believe In Love Again.

These changes in me led to my finally finding a relationship with a future, which has recently led to finding the physical place where I belong.

Finding your place in this world is essential.

Why not make this your highest priority?

Laura Lee Carter, MA Counseling Psychology, the writer behind the popular online blog How to Believe in Love Again, has been helping others turn midlife difficulties into opportunities for personal change since 2007. Besides working as a psychotherapist, Laura Lee has authored a number of books and e-books on midlife transformation.  Don’t miss her new book: Find Your Reason to Be Here: The Search for Meaning in Midlife. Follow her on Twitter: @midlifequeen.