You Are Always Reframing Your Life Story

By Laura Lee Carter

One of the most important pieces of wisdom I wish I had had as a mere 20 or 30 year old, is the broader perspective that only aging can provide for us. Now I find that a recent brain injury has provided a similar educational opportunity.

We all know the “stories” of our lives. We all know the specific meanings we have assigned to certain life experiences. What we don’t always accept and acknowledge is that these meaning can and do change over time.

One of the life lessons I have re-learned from my recent concussion:

It may take a while, but life will always eventually make sense.

My metaphor for this learning is the time it sometimes takes for me to remember a certain word for a common object or activity. Of course it is frustrating to forget simple words and meanings, but I feel reassured that they will come through eventually, because they always do.

The on and off confusion created by my concussion is a daily reminder that all the stories we tell ourselves, all of the meanings we assign to particular events in our lives, are only temporary stops along the way. We are free at any time to re-frame their meaning, to change them to match our present state of mind and level of learning.

That is one of the beauties of life itself; nothing is static, everything is changing at every moment.

In these uncertain times, the Buddhist perspective reminds us:

To resist life’s inevitable impermanence is to suffer, and to accept change with compassion is to transcend suffering.

Laura Lee Carter, MA Counseling Psychology, the writer behind the popular online blog How to Believe in Love Again, has been helping others turn midlife difficulties into opportunities for personal change since 2007. Besides working as a psychotherapist, Laura Lee has authored a number of books and e-books on midlife transformation.  Don’t miss her new book: Find Your Reason to Be Here: The Search for Meaning in Midlife. Follow her on Twitter: @midlifequeen.