The Biggest Sex Myths That Could Ruin Your Relationship

By Laura Berman, Ph.D.

Attaining sexual satisfaction can sometimes feel like searching for the Holy Grail. In fact, a study done in 2016 reported that a shockingly high number of people say that they routinely have “bad” sex. I believe that “bad” sex is such an epidemic because people are simply ignorant of their bodies and how sexual response really works. The most common problematic sex myths include:

1)      Men think about sex every seven seconds. No way! Sure, some men think about sex a lot (as do some women), but it is time we stop spreading the message that men are always in the mood and raring to go. They have off’ days just like anyone else when they are not in the mood for sex.”

2)      Sex gets boring as you age. Nope. In fact, research shows that most people report their sex lives actually improve as they get older. This is probably because they are more comfortable in their bodies, less inhibited, and unafraid to ask for what they want. So menopause is far from the end of your sexual pleasure. It could be just the beginning.

3)      Women want an emotional connection. True, some women do crave emotional intimacy, just as some men do. Casual sex often isn’t as pleasurable for women (as it tends to take more time and effort, as well as an invested partner, for a woman to reach orgasm), but that doesn’t mean that women don’t enjoy “hooking up” at times.

4)      Size matters. Not really. No matter the size of a man’s penis, sexual satisfaction comes down to how giving, present, and passionate of a lover he is. Few women reach orgasm from simple intercourse anyway, so things such as foreplay, oral sex, manual stimulation, and sex toys can all make a man an awesome lover, regardless of penis size.”

5)      Great sex just happens. This is such a pervasive myth that can really do great damage. People think that if they have to “work” at their sex life, then ithat means that their passion is dead or that any sexual pleasure they achieve is not authentic if it requires effort. That’s just untrue. Like all things worthwhile in this world, it takes work to keep a sex life hot and passionate over the years. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Just the opposite. You should be proud of being such an invested and committed partner.

Laura Berman, Ph.D., is a world-renowned educator and therapist in the area of love, sex, and relationships. She is the founder and director of the Berman Institute in Chicago, which specializes in helping couples learn to resolve conflict, come together in crises, and grow their emotional and physical intimacy to new heights. She is assistant clinical professor of psychiatry and obstetrics/gynecology at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University. Considered a thought leader in her field, Dr. Berman is a New York Times best-selling author of many books on love, sex, and relationships and host of the nationally syndicated radio show Uncovered Radio with Dr. Laura Berman. She has appeared in the pages of nearly every major U.S. magazine and newspaper, as well as on most television talk and news shows. Dr. Berman serves on the advisory board for The Dr. Oz Show and is the most frequent guest on Steve Harvey. She lives in Chicago with her husband, three sons, and dog. Website: www.drlauraberman.com.